The University of Alaska Fairbanks’ Alaska Nanooks team has a jumbotron hockey video that must be seen to be believed. It’s the closest hockey may ever get to having its own Fantasia movie.
If you’re looking for a Jumbotron hockey video that includes a soundtrack featuring Kenny Loggins, Laura Branigan and a plotline starring a polar bear capable of flying a fighter jet, have we got a link for you.
The University of Alaska Fairbanks commissioned this video for the Alaska Nanooks‘ 2009-10 team, and calling it off the wall is an understatement. It begins, appropriately enough, in the Arctic Circle – but that’s where things start to get weird: an icebreaker makes its way through the frozen waters, apparently electrifying a polar bear that somehow had been frozen beneath the surface and enlarging it to Godzilla size (that point is also the point at which someone thought Branigan’s “Self Control” was a smart musical choice); Bearzilla proceeds to fashion a Fox-on-NHL-style glowing stick out of thin air, uses it to destroy the boat and everyone on board in a fairly serious overreaction, then makes his way onto the aforementioned jet to go full Maverick-from-Top-Gun.
From there, Bearzilla and a group of bear-pilots proceed to attack multiple places of higher learning before dropping a bomb into a volcano (something vaguely Scientology-ish there) and blowing the entire earth to smithereens. You’d think the bear wouldn’t have much to do after having destroyed the planet and all the innocent life forms that once lived upon it, but you’d be wrong – he still has enough juice in the plane to fly it, Interstellar-style, through a wormhole and intro an alternate universe where hockey is played on a giant brownie.
What, you think I made these past two paragraphs up? Go ahead, see for yourself: