This here is the final mailbag column prior to the March 4 trade deadline, so I figured I’d get as many of those questions – most of which were nuttier than a squirrel’s winter storage facility – out of the way. Last names have been removed to protect the ignorant. I mean, the innocent.
I’m a Vancouver Canucks fan and I’m wondering if this might happen: The Canucks trade Mason Raymond, Michael Grabner, and maybe a second round draft pick in this year’s draft, for Florida’s Jay Bouwmeester and David Booth.
That will make the Canucks better for a run at the Cup. But what would the future be for the Canucks after trading two good young players and a pick?
Dannell L., Leask, Sask.
The more pertinent question is, what would Florida GM Jacques Martin’s future be – both professionally and personally – once the remaining Panthers fans picked up torches and pitchforks and chased him across state lines after he traded away their best defenseman and top goal-scorer for two young forwards who have 102 games of NHL experience combined (and 102 games experience if you took Grabner out of the equation)?
And the answer to that is, I think radical plastic surgery and a change in identity would have to be only the beginning.
What is the most the Leafs could get in return for Tomas Kaberle?
Well…oh, hold on a second, there’s another question like this one I can answer at the same time…
If Ottawa trades Jason Spezza, who would the Sens get back for him?
Stephen H., Torbay, Nfld.
Glad you (and Paul) have inquired about the potential returns for Kaberle and Spezza. As luck would have it, both players could be traded for each other – but only in this complex, eight-team swap I’ve devised. Here’s how the deal would break down:
To Ottawa: Tomas Kaberle, Frantisek Kaberle and the rights in perpetuity to all current and future members of the Kaberle family;
To Carolina: Jarkko Ruutu’s Id, Barry Trotz and eight members of Canada’s Parliament to be named later;
To Nashville: John Paddock, Craig Hartsburg, John Muckler and Harry Sinden;
To Boston: A previously viewed VHS copy of The Boondock Saints, Ty Gretzky and balm for Jeremy Jacobs’ black heart of capitalist urges;
To Phoenix: Cash considerations, Joe Sakic’s practically new snowblower and additional cash considerations;
To Colorado: A double foot transplant for Peter Forsberg and Ted Saskin-proof security for all players using AOL.com email accounts;
To Washington: All goaltending prospects in the Leafs organization and Maple Leaf Gardens;
To Toronto: Jason Spezza, seven massive tracts of land for condo development and a future Capitals berth in the Eastern Conference semifinal.
Now that’s what I call a win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win trade scenario. I’ll leave it to esteemed rumor reality-checker Lyle Richardson to pore over the minutiae.
Do you think the Flames will make a trade like Todd Bertuzzi and Rhett Warrener to the Panthers for Jay Bouwmeester?
I personally do not think The Flames will keep Mike Cammalleri – should we maybe move him to the Leafs or Sens for a couple of draft picks or prospects. What do you think the Flames need?
Jim K., Calgary
The only way the Panthers make that deal with Calgary is if the Men In Black invade Florida’s head office and wave one of those mind-clearing sticks in front of their employees to make them forget Bertuzzi’s first stint in South Florida.
I don’t think Darryl Sutter moves Cammalleri. He’s been too good for Calgary this season and even if he moves on to greener pastures as an unrestricted free agent this summer, the Flames will need his cap space to pay restricted free agent Dustin Boyd and add a couple defensemen to replace Adrian Aucoin and Warrener (both UFAs at the end of the year).
What do they need right now? What any division-leading team needs at this time of year: a roster tweak or two and improved depth in preparation for a deep playoff run.
As a Senators supporter, I’m wondering what the plan of action could be to turn their season around. Do you think the Senators could trade Martin Gerber at the trade deadline and get a good goalie in return?
Stuart T., Ottawa
I hate to be so pessimistic, but not only is there no trade market for Gerber, there’s no way to turn around the Sens’ season.
If they’re buyers and not sellers next week, team owner Eugene Melnyk should be removed from his Barbadian beach outpost and examined for severe heatstroke as soon as possible.
I’m a Leafs fan (but Pittsburgh is the best!) and sometimes I think of some trades the Leafs should do.
I thought of one great one: Leaving Toronto would be Tomas Kaberle, Matt Stajan, and a first-rounder in 2010. Leaving Atlanta would be Ilya Kovalchuk and a fifth-rounder in 2009.
Atlanta needs defense, so Kaberle would be good for them and they’re getting a young forward in Stajan. Toronto needs offense, so Kovalchuk would be great.
If you were Brian Burke would you offer it? Would Atlanta accept it?
Graeme M., Markham, Ont.
If you’re asking whether Burke would trade a defenseman who’d likely leave the Thrashers the second his contract expires in the summer of 2011, a forward who’d be at best a third line center on a contending team, and a long-shot draft pick for one of the most dynamic players in the league, I think the answer is a definite ‘yes.’
Would Atlanta GM Don Waddell accept it? Yeah – if he and Jacques Martin scored a great 2-for-1 deal on the aforementioned plastic surgery and new identity maneuvers.
Ask Adam appears Fridays on TheHockeyNews.com. Proteau also answers readers’ question in every issue of The Hockey News magazine and on The Hockey News Radio Show every Friday from 3-4 p.m. EST on XM Radio channel 204. To send us your question or comment, click HERE.
Adam Proteau is writer and columnist for The Hockey News and a regular contributor to THN.com. His blog appears Mondays, his Ask Adam feature appears Fridays and his column, Screen Shots, appears Thursdays.
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