The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
More immortal words have ever been spoken, or at least read off a locker room wall (although that one about The Benefits of Hiring a Midget was pretty good too). Still, that historic quote will always share an association with the storied Montreal Canadiens, an association that draws awe from hockey fans and ire from the estate of John McCrae. Apparently someone owes a little in back royalties.
However, lest we think Les Habitants own the patent on motivational graffiti, think again. There’s some other, pretty creative verse on other bathroom walls in other rinks, meant to get the boys jacked for the game. Some even good enough to make a Top 12 List..
Top 12 Inspirational Team Credos (stuff on walls Â– you know what I mean):
12 (Florida) Winning Brings Babes. Not Winning Brings All These Seniors
11 (Calgary) Bull your way to the Top and Steer clear of Trouble.
10 (Phoenix) Man it’s Hot, which means You’re Hot. Go Yotes!
9 (Detroit) Here’s the Torch…Yadda Yadda, Let’s catch those Habs
8 (Ottawa) Team Spirit is Unconquerable and Tax Deductible
7 (Toronto) Truly Strive and You May Disappoint as Mightily as Those Who Came Before You
6 (Anaheim) When You wish Upon aÂ…ah, Just Hit him in the Groin
5 (Philadelphia) Here’s your $@*#& Inspiration you &%*#@
4 (Los Angeles) You gotta skate dude.
3 (Carolina) Only through Perseverance shall you find Dominance, y’all
2 (Columbus) Together We will Be Champions, No SeriouslyÂ…
1 (Chicago) Oprah says Hit A Touchdown!
Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN’s hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Friday only on thehockeynews.com.
Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org