Loose Change: Free to a good home

Good to see ex-Panther Niklas Hagman returning to Dallas to join brother Larry in running the Southfork Ranch.

Memo to all GMs: goaltender Patrick Lalime is available. If you’re looking for a solid, dependable, butterfly-style backup goalie to mentor your young prospects, try the Yellow Pages. Lalime is more of an ostrich than a butterfly.

By the way, does the pulled groin come with a salad or mashed potatoes?

Mario Lemieux is sounding rather ominous about the Penguins’ long-term viability in the Steel City. He believes the team will likely move once their lease with the Lemon Arena expires in 2007. The only thing that will save them now is either more financial support from local government or Superman.

Depending on whom you want to believe, Todd Bertuzzi either wants out of Vancouver or he doesn’t. He says he wants to stay, 28 GMs say he wants to go. (Mike Milbury apparently isn’t familiar with the name).

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Good news for Philadelphia GM Bob Clarke: One more lower body injury and the bonus kicks in on their team health coverage. A broken bone of any sort and everyone on the roster gets a free iPod.

And it’s no secret Anaheim’s Petr Sykora is being shopped around the NHL. Sykora’s OK with the potential move, but has only three stipulations: (1) he wants to go to a playoff contender (2) he wants back into the Eastern conference (3) his new team would have to supply him another “e” for his first name.

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN’s hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Thursday, only on

Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at