The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?
I don’t care how you slice it, watching two goalies fight (like last night’s bout between Martin Biron and Ray Emery) is a funny thing.
Sure it’s two guys intent on killing each other with fists flailing, but the shear hilarious choreography of two guys in snowsuits duking it out is pure comic genius. It gives one some great ideas for another Top 12 List.
TOP 12 THINGS GOALIES LOOK LIKE WHEN THEY’RE FIGHTING EACH OTHER:
12 Potatoes making love
11 Pillows dancing
10 Hippos getting fitted for formal wear
9 An amoeba mosh pit
8 Rosie O’Donnell doing push ups
7 Gerbils fighting over cheese
6 Balloons hugging
5 A turtle trying to pole vault a Daschund
4 Marshmallows mating
3 A pair of socks trying to hug a diaper
2 Two mattresses wrestling
1 Musical Chairs at Weight Watchers
Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN’s hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Friday only on thehockeynews.com.
Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at email@example.com