Thought No. 1: That old 12 Days of Christmas song was written about hockey. Think about it: “12 drummers drumming” – the “capacity” crowd in Glendale during a Coyotes power play.
Thought No. 2: Overheard backstage at the National Hockey League Little Theatre Production Company…
Director: “No, as I said before, Mr. Burke, you’re playing The Grinch and Mr. Milbury is playing Scrooge.”
Thought No. 3: That old 12 Days of Christmas song was written about hockey. More evidence: “Nine ladies dancing” – Don Cherry, in a direct quote, discussing the top three lines of Team Sweden.
Thought No. 4: Santa Claus has the ultimate playoff beard.
Thought No. 5: An excerpt from Alex Ovechkin’s list to Santa:
– Shaving kit
– Backup shaving kit
– Unibrow comb
Thought No. 6: To Zdeno Chara, would skis be considered a stocking-stuffer?
Thought No. 7: A gift suggestion if Ken Holland and the Red Wings are on your shopping list: bubble wrap.
Thought No. 8: A gift suggestion if Patrick Kane is on your shopping list: a bus pass.
Thought No. 9: The new Craig Simpson doll. Part action figure; part Transformer. Turn his head one way and he’s an Edmonton Oiler. Turn his head the other and it’s toe picks and sequins as far as the eye can see. Only $15.99. In stores now!
Thought No. 10: That old 12 Days of Christmas song was written about hockey. Even more evidence: “Four calling birds” – also known as two refs and two linesmen.
Thought No. 11: Jim Balsillie on Christmas Day: “No, it’s not that I don’t like the Ferrari and the new yacht and the Lear Jet and the 24 karat tennis racket and the rocket-powered roller blades and Caribbean island you bought me, it’s just that…oh, you wouldn’t understand.”
Thought No. 12: That old 12 Days of Christmas song was written about hockey. Even more evidence: “A partridge in a pear tree” – a small aimless “bird” in a place it shouldn’t be. (Hint: the partridge in question is a short lawyer from Queens).
Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN’s hockeysockpuppettheatre cartoon, brings you Loose Change every second Tuesday. Subscribe to The Hockey News today to have Charlie’s cartoon delivered to you in each issue.
Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Check out his website at charlieteljeur.com.
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For the first time ever, you have a chance to buy original Hockeysockpuppettheatre cartoons straight from the source (I finally wrangled the rights from my Taiwanese overlords). They are perfect as gift even if the recipient has the exact same name as you. Interested? Click here.