The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?
Interesting news from around NHL training camps:
Nick Lidstrom’s transition to leader of the Detroit Red Wings has been made much easier this year after spending some quality time mentoring from one of the best this summer. Lidstrom spent the entire month of July in Chicago in the Quaker Oats Leadership Program under the tutelage of Cap’N Crunch.
Don’t doubt for a second new president John Davidson’s ability to turn around the St. Louis Blues franchise. Look what he did for Hollywood Squares.
Nikolai Zherdev and the Columbus Blue Jackets haven’t spoken in more than two weeks. Friends say mysterious hotel receipts and a foreign perfume stain are to blame for the rift.
Mike Keenan’s tenure in Florida ended unceremoniously after being blindsided by forces within the Panthers’ organization. Todd Bertuzzi was out of town at the time, but police are still investigating.
Roberto Luongo thinks the Vancouver Canucks have what it takes to go Â“all the wayÂ” this year. He also likes Kansas City to win the World Series and is looking forward to The Beatles new album.
Rick DiPietro signed a 15-year agreement with the New York Islanders. Signing a player to this type of contract proves (a) the Islanders think very highly of DiPietro (b) Rick believes in owner Charles Wang and (c) those reports of anthrax in the water on Long Island were apparently true.
Jason Allison completed a marathon this summer in 2 hours, 38 minutes and 12 seconds. The marathon consisted of skating from center ice to the far hash marks and is an improvement of almost three minutes over last year’s time.
And did you know a second year player has never won Rookie of the Year?
Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN’s hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Thursday during the season and every Tuesday during the summer only on thehockeynews.com.
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