News Blog: All in good pun

Puns I’m surprised haven’t been used yet: Honky Tonk (Radek) Bonk; and Washington blueliners Tom Poti and Brian Pothier being called “The Po Po” when they’re on the ice together.

• Stat of the weekend goes to Maple Leafs forward Kris Newbury, who played all of 22 seconds in Saturday’s 6-4 loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins and was a minus-2. Who says normal people can’t do what NHLers can do?

• The Capitals and Blues, my two sleeper team picks this season, are a combined 6-3-0 so far and both currently sit in second place in their divisions. Just wanted to get in some cheap bragging before anything goes awry.

• Need more proof the NHL is an operation in serious need of a radical philosophical restructuring? Look no further than this paragraph from Minnesota Star-Tribune reporter Michael Russo:

“(David) Koci, the Chicago Blackhawks fighter, got the best of (enforcer Derek) Boogaard on opening nightÂ…the fight came late in Boogaard’s shift, (and) Koci was choking Boogaard with his jersey…”

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You hear NHLers talk all the time about not focusing too heavily on over-the-top personalities, lest the league turn into something akin to pro wrestling. Well, people, when players are strangling each other with their uniforms, we’re pretty much there already.

The way things are regressing, I half-expect the Philadelphia Flyers to sign Abdullah The Butcher to a one-way contract very soon, and lobby the NHL Board of Governors to legalize the use of forks during games.

• editor Edward Fraser is a very hardworking guy. Some might even say he does the job of three men.

And after I read his stark-ravingly delusional attempt to argue his fantasy pool team is better than mine, I’m starting to think all his responsibilities are getting to him. To paraphrase the one and only Jeremy Roenick: Wake up, Ed. Wake up.