Thirty NHL teams, 30 New Year’s resolutions that won’t be kept – or for the most part, even be suggested.
The Anaheim Ducks resolve to…get rid of every player not named Niedermayer.
The Atlanta Thrashers resolve to…stay ahead of divisional rival Tampa Bay in the Battle for Least of the SouthLeast. (And that’s pretty least.)
The Boston Bruins resolve to…keep doing exactly what they’re doing.
The Buffalo Sabres resolve to…pass the puck to Thomas Vanek and then get out of the way.
The Calgary Flames resolve to…blanket Miikka Kiprusoff in bubble-wrap to prevent the injury problems that befell Martin Brodeur and Roberto Luongo and Evgeni Nabokov and Rick DiPietro and…
The Carolina Hurricanes resolve to…stop giving up even-strength goals when Rod ‘Can he really be minus-26?’ Brind’Amour is on the ice.
The Chicago Blackhawks resolve to…do what the Penguins did last year.
The Colorado Avalanche resolve to…shovel Joe Sakic’s driveway.
The Columbus Blue Jackets resolve to…play in May.
The Dallas Stars resolve to…completely forget about the ’08 portion of the 2008-09 NHL schedule.
The Detroit Red Wings resolve to…win every period, game and playoff series they ever play.
The Edmonton Oilers resolve to…send Sam Gagner back to 2007-08 to find his rookie scoring touch.
The Florida Panthers resolve to…make the playoffs for the first time since Pavel Bure was a 50-goal scorer.
The Los Angeles Kings resolve to…not get too good too fast, lest they lose the right to draft John Tavares or Victor Hedman.
The Minnesota Wild resolve to…keep scoring and winning regardless of whether Marian Gaborik plays.
The Montreal Canadiens resolve to…win the 25th Stanley Cup in franchise history in their 100th season. (What else?)
The Nashville Predators resolve to…send a ‘For Sale’ text to Jim Balsillie.
The New Jersey Devils resolve to…convince Scott Clemmensen that he’s Martin Brodeur.
The New York Islanders resolve to…become relevant again.
The New York Rangers resolve to…convince Jaromir Jagr that New York is Omsk West.
The Ottawa Senators resolve to…score a goal, for old time’s sake.
The Philadelphia Flyers resolve to…beat the Penguins.
The Pittsburgh Penguins resolve to…beat the Flyers.
The Phoenix Coyotes resolve to…turn a profit. (Plan B: Find out Balsillie’s email address.)
The St. Louis Blues resolve to…beat the blues.
The San Jose Sharks resolve to…turn Joe Thornton into Joe Plumber, come Joe playoff time.
The Tampa Bay Lightning resolve to…get amnesia and forget everything since the 2004 Cup final.
The Toronto Maple Leafs resolve to…repay a 41-year-old debt to their fans.
The Vancouver Canucks resolve to…put Mats Sundin on a line with Daniel and Henrik Sedin, just to make the play-by-play guy squirm.
The Washington Capitals resolve to…go on a run in the post-season. So we can all watch Alex Ovechkin celebrate after scoring a playoff overtime goal.
Sam McCaig’s From The Point column appears regularly only on thehockeynews.com. Have a point to make with Sam McCaig? You can reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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