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Loose Change: Gone south

The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?

Wow. Peter Forsberg's now a Predator. To most of you that's probably a surprise, but if you'll recall I actually predicted this happening way back in 1982 (when I was 16 and finishing my third attempt at Grade 8 – which makes it all the more amazing, really).

Peter, or Foppa as he's called by people who have the creativity of warped hammer, will certainly notice some differences between Nashville and Philadelphia (no suicide watch after games, for example).

Conveniently for Peter, and for those who like the structure and predictability of lists, we have created one to help Foppa during this time of transition.

(Come on Foppa?? Really?? At least try to come up with somethingÂ…)

Top 12 Observations Peter Forsberg will make in Nashville:

12 Shootouts decided by competition on Mechanical Bull.

11 Local bidding war for rights to The ForsBurger.

10 Jred Smithsson actually Jared Smithson.

9 Trey Crowner is the bass player for Rascal Flatts.

8 Philly has rodents in the stands. In Nashville they're in the locker room.

7 Snakeskin boots have been known to cure most foot problems.

6 They use the win column.

5 He and Jason Arnott are the only non-midgets on the team.

4 Vernon Fiddler actually plays the banjo.

3 Chronic Herring shortage plagues city.

2 Minnie Pearl Museum way overrated.

1 It's OK that he doesn't shave. No one in the state does either.

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Friday only on

Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at


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