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Loose Change: Once over, lightly

Sometimes man can survive on meat alone. On the menu tonight, Rack of Ted.

An NHL coaching job is to Ted Nolan what Lindsay Lohan is to a fourteen-year-old boy. A story that works better with your eyes closed.

Ted, you're at the end of an all-you-can-eat-buffet line and the International Brotherhood of Sumo Wrestlers is in town.

The good news: You're high on New Jersey's list of coaching candidates. The bad news: You're behind Toe Blake.

Your resume has been passed around more than Paris Hilton.

Seriously, he might want to re-think his choice of Alan Eagleson as his agent.

They did say the Jack Adams Trophy would open a lot of doors for Ted Nolan, most of them in his work as a valet.

Loose Change will return Jan. 4

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Thursday, only on

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