If you’re a fan of South Park, you have undoubtedly become transfixed with the concept of “member berries,” the nostalgic talking fruits that were a staple of the most recent season. Needless to say, it’s become a bit of a meme with us South Park watchers in the office and I felt that with the holidays approaching, every NHL fan deserved some good memories. So I’ve put together a list of member berry candidates for all 30 teams. My only rule was that current players were not eligible. This will also be a lot funnier if you think of the berries’ voices when you’re reading it. A primer:
ANA – Member Teemu Selanne? (Aww, I love Teemu Selanne!) Member Paul Kariya and J-S Giguere?
ARI – Member Teppo Numminen? Member Jeremy Roenick (yeah, J.R. was awesome!) and Keith Tkachuk?
BOS – Member Ray Bourque? (yeah, I member Ray Bourque!). Member Cam Neely and Andy Moog?
BUF – Member Dominik Hasek? (Aww, I member ‘The Dominator!’) Member Mike Peca and Brad May? (May Day!)
CAR – Member Rod Brind’Amour, Glen Wesley and Ray Whitney? (Aww, I member the Stanley Cup!)
CGY – Member Joel Otto, Mike Vernon and Joe Nieuwendyk? (The Battle of Alberta, yeah!)
CHI – Member Steve Larmer? Member Denis Savard (spin-o-ramas, yeah, I member!) and Troy Murray?
COL – Member Adam Foote? (I member Adam Foote!) Member Joe Sakic and Peter Forsberg?
CBJ – Member Geoff Sanderson? (yeah, totally!) Member Andrew Cassels and David Vyborny?
DAL – Member Mike Modano? (Aww, Mo was the best!) Member Jere Lehtninen and Sergei Zubov?
DET – Member Nick Lidstrom and Sergei Fedorov? Member Steve Yzerman? (I member Stevie Y!)
EDM – Member Wayne Gretzky? (yeah, 99 was the best!) Member Jari Kurri and Mark Messier?
FLA – Member Scott Mellanby, John Vanbiesbrouck and Stu Barnes? (I member rat tricks!)
LA – Member Jimmy Carson and Marcel Dionne? Member Luc Robitaille (Lucky Luc, yeah!)
MIN – Member Manny Fernandez? (I member Manny!) Member Wes Walz and Andrew Brunette?
MTL – Member Stephane Richer and Guy Carbonneau? Member Patrick Roy? (yeah, he was the best!)
NSH – Member Steve Sullivan? (yeah, Sully!) Member Tomas Vokoun and Scott Walker?
NJ – Member Scott Stevens, Marty Brodeur and Scott Niedermayer? (yeah, I member all those Cups!)
NYI – Member Mike Bossy, Denis Potvin and Bryan Trottier? (I member the dynasty!)
NYR – Member Adam Graves, Mike Richter and Brian Leetch (1994, yeah!)
OTT – Member Daniel Alfredsson (Alfie was the best!), Member Radek Bonk and Damian Rhodes?
PHI – Member Eric Lindros (The Big E, yeah!) Member Rick Tocchet and Tim Kerr?
PIT – Member Mark Recchi? (I member March Recchi, yeah!) Member Tom Barrasso and Mario Lemieux?
SJ – Member Arturs Irbe? (Ohhh, Arturs Irbe was the best!) Member Mike Rathje and Owen Nolan?
STL – Member Hull and Oates? (Ohh, of course I member Hull and Oates!) Member Bernie Federko?
TB – Member Vinny Lecavalier and Marty St-Louis? Member Nikolai Khabibulin? (The Bulin Wall, yeah!)
TOR – Member Gary Roberts and Darcy Tucker? Member Curtis Joseph? (Ohh, I love Cujo!)
VAN – Member Pavel Bure? (The Russian Rocket, yeah!) Member Kirk McLean and Geoff Courtnall?
WAS – Member Peter Bondra and Olaf Kolzig? Member Joe Juneau? (Joey Juneau, yeah!)
WPG – Member Dale Hawerchuk, Thomas Steen and Pokey Reddick? (I member the old Jets, yeah!)