By now, you've probably had a look at Victor E. Green, the Dallas Stars' freshly unveiled mascot. You've also visited the nearest emergency eyewash station, flushed thoroughly and patted your face dry with a paper towel. Victor is ugly. He's that friend with a great personality who never gets responses on OkCupid and doesn't know why. Oscar the Grouch, Youppi and a cockroach held hands, stepped inside Jeff Goldblum's telepod from
The Fly, and out popped Victor. He's that giant toy you win at the beginning of a day at the amusement park and wish you could throw away. The Victor vitriol is intense. A small sample from enraged Stars fans on Twitter:
"It looks like a booger with legs..."
"As long as his name is the Grinch that stole the Stanley Cup. ???"
"Vomits uncontrollably. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FANS?"
So yeah. He's ugly. He's also an alien, according to the Victor E. Green coloring card posted on the Stars Twitter account, which lists off his various specs. His relationship status is "alienated" and
E.T. is among his favorite flicks, so he's clearly not of this world.
I can't blame anyone for calling Victor an epic fail. He's the type of mascot typically reserved for teams with abstract nicknames that don't lend well to mascots. The Montreal Expos had Youppi because, well, how do you represent Expo 67 as one entity? And given what Dallas had to work with –
Stars, Lone Star, Lone Star State, cowboys, boots, yee haw, six-shooter – its mascot design should've been a slam-dunk. Instead, the Stars pretend Area 51 is in Texas and go with the alien. Aside from the odd logic, though, I dare ask: who cares? What matters is Victor E. Green is extremely memorable. What matters is we're talking about him days after his unveiling. He's an eyesore, but maybe there's more creativity to him than meets the eye, as he's interesting. And a closer look at him in the flesh (fur?) reveals his antennae are hockey sticks. So that's cool, I guess.
What do you say we lay off our buddy Vic, celebrate his weirdness and see what he can do at American Airlines Center this fall?
Matt Larkin is an associate editor at The Hockey News and a regular contributor to the thn.com Post-To-Post blog. For more great profiles, news and views from the world of hockey, subscribe to The Hockey News magazine. Follow Matt Larkin on Twitter at @THNMattLarkin