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Oilers Watch: Bottom of the barrel

There’s not a lot you can say about the Oilers after their 9-2 trouncing at the hands of the Chicago Blackhawks Tuesday night.

Well, at least not stuff you can print in a family-oriented publication like this one.

However, in spite of the pity and anger Edmontonians are feeling about their hockey team, they should find consolation in the fact the Oilers have a good group of talented young players who will provide highlights on the ice for a long time to come.

Really, it could be worse. Much, much worse. “Captain Highliner Islanders jersey” worse.

I mean, get a load of these three currently abominable franchises. First, hold your nose, but then get a load, and ask yourself if you’re that upset with the direction the Oilers are headed.

New York Islanders: Speaking of Captain Highliner, no list of bumble-prone teams would be complete without Charles Wang’s Long Island Gong Show. The Isles’ decrepit arena deserves to be the setting for the next Saw movie; their marquee goalie has been sidelined for most of the season with the NHL’s now standard “Mystery Injury;” and they’ve lost seven straight games.

There is hope on the Isles’ horizon, but you need a GPS system, a trail of breadcrumbs and a magnifying glass to locate it.

St. Louis Blues: With Erik Johnson, T.J. Oshie, Patrik Berglund and Alex Pietrangelo in tow, the Blues’ future is bright. Unfortunately, the franchise has been dealing with an injury curse to its players – one that already has sidelined Johnson, Oshie, Paul Kariya and Manny Legace this season.

The curse may not continue, but if I’m John Tavares or Victor Hedman and the Blues draft me with the first or second overall pick this summer, I immediately demand to be covered in bubble wrap until my first NHL game.

Tampa Bay Lightning: Considering the way Steven Stamkos’ rookie season with the Bolts has gone, if I’m John Tavares or Victor Hedman and the Lightning draft me with the first or second overall pick this summer, I immediately demand to have my birthday pushed back one year.

This column also appears in the Edmonton Metro newspaper.

Adam Proteau is writer and columnist for The Hockey News and a regular contributor to THN.com. His blog appears Mondays, his Ask Adam feature appears Fridays and his column, Screen Shots, appears Thursdays.

For more great profiles, news and views from the world of hockey, Subscribe to The Hockey News magazine.

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