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In the most recent issue of The Hockey News, the team reports discuss player experiences with their road roommates.

There are a variety of great, laugh-out-loud, behind-the-scenes stories, including a pair on sleepwalkers, which hit close to home after I awoke early Wednesday morning to the sight of my wife vociferously swatting imaginary bats with her arms.

No joke. Good times.

Anyway, in case you were wondering why grown men who make (at least) six-figure salaries shack up rather than live alone on the road, it’s because they have to.

According to the CBA, “Any Player who has played ten (10) professional seasons under an SPC (standard player contract) and has played in 600 NHL games (including NHL games dressed for goaltenders) shall be entitled to elect to have single room accommodations for all Club road trips.”

There’s tons of crazy crap like this in the CBA, with even more strangely first-letter-capitalized words, like this gem:

“A Player whose SPC is Traded during the NHL Season shall be reimbursed by the assignee Club, if he so requests, for the use of a mid-size rental car, or for the cost of renting a mid-size car if Player rents a more expensive car, for a period up to twenty-one (21) days in the city to which he has been traded.”

It doesn’t mention whether the player (or Player, if you will) can get the difference in cash if he just rents a compact.

(If you ever need a guaranteed sleep aid, you can download the riveting 475-page document HERE.)


All this recent and persistent talk about escalating salaries and teams losing money if they don’t make the playoffs has me thinking.

I don’t know about you, but I’m growing weary of the same ol’ same ol’ race for the Cup.

Year after non-lockout year it’s the exact same thing; 30 teams start the season with dreams of hoisting 35 pounds of polished metal over their heads and skating wide circles while their wives or/and girlfriends say, “thank god he can finally shave!”

I’ve had it.

From now on I’m judging success on a new level; a gauge I’m sure all Maple Leafs fans can get behind; a system that makes sense - dollars and sense.

I’m embracing my capitalist roots and judging achievement not by wins and losses (or ultra-ridiculous OT/SO losses), but rather by how much green a team can rake in by the end of the year.

Now all I have to do is learn the details of profit sharing.

Edward Fraser is the editor of His blog appears Thursdays.

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