In what can only be described as a shocking development, the Toronto Maple Leafs have stumbled upon a new source of revenue.
As though they weren’t already making enough money by showing some of the games on Leafs TV, the Buds will now allow fans, who don’t have access to the digital channel, to watch their games on the big screen, and we’re not talking about Hal Gill standing in front of the net.
Beginning Nov. 2, the Maple Leafs will show seven games in Cineplex theatres on Â“giant wall-to-wall curved screens in Dolby Digital Surround Sound and in High Definition (HDTV).Â”
And all it will cost is $10.95 for adults ($12.48 tax included) and $8.95 ($10.20 tax included) for fans aged three to 12. Don’t fret, though, the Leafs are donating a whole dollar from each ticket to charity.
All of which got us to thinking. Cineplex could use the Leaf games as an incredible marketing tool by tying them in with famous horror movies. If you’ve seen the Leafs play this season, you just know that some of these games are bound to be horror shows anyway. (Hey, we don’t ask them to toss us these waist-high fastballs. Sometimes they just make it so darn easy.)
In any event, here’s what we came up with for each game:
Nov. 2 vs. Florida Panthers
Plotline: After a couple of months of dealing with the likes of Todd Bertuzzi and Ed Belfour, the Panthers coach snaps and writes hundreds of times on the chalkboard in the dressing room, Â“All offense and no defense makes Jacques a dull boy.Â”
Belfour, displaying the level of play he showed with the Leafs last season, sits in his crease repeating, Â“Red Light, Red Light,Â” as the Leafs score seven goals on their first four shots.
Jan. 4 vs. Boston Bruins
Plotline: Leafs utility winger (Norman) Bates Battaglia is constantly hounded by his mother and responds by actually doing something.
Jan. 11 vs. Buffalo Sabres
Plotline: Watch as Wade Belak’s head does a complete 360 while Maxim Afinogenov blows by him.
Jan. 30 vs. Carolina Hurricanes
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Plotline: After the first eight power play systems fail miserably, coach Paul Maurice finally adopts a scheme given to him by aliens, the same ones that he said had invaded referee Richard Trottier’s helmet a couple of years ago.
Feb. 8 vs. Nashville Predators
Coal Miner’s Slaughter
Plotline: Even wearing Loretta Lynn’s likeness on their third jersey, the Predators lay a world of hurt on the Leafs.
Feb. 20 vs. Boston Bruins
Shean of the Dead
Plotline: Watch as Bruins third-liner Shean Donovan kills the Leafs with his unique blend of speed and skill.
March 6 vs. Washington Capitals
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Plotline: The Leafs set a modern-day record by taking 63 holding penalties, all of them on Alex Ovechkin and Alexander Semin.
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