In January of 2024, I approached then-New Jersey Devils forward Curtis Lazar to see if he would be up for answering some random non-hockey questions. He smiled and enthusiastically said, "Let's do it. I'm up for anything." 

From that conversation, the "Which Teammates Are Most Likely" segment was born, with multiple players like Paul Cotter and Dawson Mercer participating. 

This season, I am looking to continue that segment and wanted to add the Devils' American Hockey League Affiliate, the Utica Comets, into the mix. After a couple of weeks of figuring out which player would be the best participant, I landed on defenseman Dmitri Osipov, with help from those around the team. 

The commitment the 29-year-old showed during this lighthearted and humorous segment was second to none. Let's get into it. 

Q: Which teammate is most likely to forget to text back?

Osipov: Jack Malone 

Editor's Note: Is there a reason that Osipov chose Jack Malone? Yes. Will Osipov be a good teammate and plead the fifth and not provide that reason? Also yes. 

Q: Which teammate is most likely to show up late to an event?

Osipov: The majority of the guys show up fairly early. In Utica, I have no trouble naming the person. It will be Calen Addison. He is going to be the last one to walk in. The only one who might come close is Topias Vilén. 

Q: Which teammate is most likely to go on Dancing With The Stars and win? 

Osipov: Oh, that is Ethan Edwards, for multiple reasons. I have seen him dance a couple of times, and it doesn't matter where we go in terms of AHL buildings; you always see four or five people standing with posters for him, asking for his stick or to sign a jersey.

THN: He is winning based on the popular vote, isn't he? 

Osipov: Oh yeah, it is actually kind of crazy how many people know him. 

Q: Which teammate is most likely to pick up the dinner tab?

Osipov: There are a lot of good candidates for it. I was about to say Nico Daws; he was one of the first ones I thought of. Honestly, you can come up with (multiple names), especially the older guys on the team. Everybody offers. 

Q: Which teammate is most likely to win a team-wide deadlift competition? 

Osipov: Oh yeah, that is going to be me.

THN: Is there anyone who comes close to you? 

Osipov: Oh! You know who is going to be a good bet? Brian Halonen is a freak of a human being in the gym. I feel Nathan Légaré is very close, too. Just pure strength, I would say Halonen and I would be really, really close, and then Légaré would be a very good third, not too far from us. 

Editor's Note: Multiple teammates have confirmed that Osipov would be the clear winner in a deadlift competition, with one saying, "Yes, easy, not even a question. It's not close." After seeing Osipov in person, that checks out. 

Q: Which teammate is most likely to binge a TV show in one day?

Osipov: This is actually really tough because a lot of guys talk about shows. I think Mike Hardman would be a good pick. Every time you would ask him what he did, he would say somebody came to his apartment, or he went to somebody's apartment, and they hung out. More often than not, it comes out that they watched something.

Editor's Note: After much - and I mean much - deliberation and thinking about who the homebodies are on the Comets, Osipov also mentioned Nico Daws and Colton White. 

I additionally discovered that Nathan Légaré usually watches the iPad on the bus, but it is generally hockey-related. You have to appreciate a man who is dedicated to his craft. 

Q: Which teammate will most likely not know how to change a tire?

Osipov: Oh my god, it is Mike Hardman. He is definitely up there. I have known him for way longer than I probably should. I played with him in Rockford, too. We go way back. Knowing him, I feel like he is going to be completely lost when it comes to this.

I could throw in, let's say, Topias Vilén in there, too. Judging on sheer age, I would say Lenni Hämeenaho. I could add him, too.  

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