Who will the New York Islanders beat out for a playoff berth in 2023-34?

Who will the New York Islanders beat out for a playoff berth in 2023-34?

It's an arresting question, but I don't expect to be arrested for asking it.

Besides, I have the answer:

Eight teams will be below our favorite sextet, just as they were last April. It's important not to forget hockey history; even though it ain't ancient history, like The Maven.

Over the 2022-23 marathon, teams led by the iconic Sidney Crosby and future Hall of Famers Evgeny Malkin and Alex Ovechkin went down -- and out! Gonzo before the real season began.

Then again, so did the Ottawa Senators, Buffalo Sabres, Detroit Red Wings, Montreal Canadiens, Columbus Blue Jackets, and The Torts' Flyers.

Some of the above again will be torpedoed amidships -- if not by mid-season. Aha! But now -- I have a few surprises for you. Kindly listen up to my choices of the teams the Isles will beat out for the postseason and, next spring, correct me if The Maven is wrong.

Serious Note: If, by chance, your team is mentioned as a loser, don't get mad at me; point your pinky finger at your general manager in question. Or, how about this; don't point at all; just hope for the best.

P.S. See me in April to compare notes; I'll be the guy in the flak jacket and pith helmet.

OTTAWA SENATORS: This team of eternal optimism will disappoint its new ownership just as it did in the past. The trouble is neither Tim Stutzle nor Brady Tkachuk can play goal. P.S. Who can?

DETROIT RED WINGS: Steve Yzerman keeps improving his team -- but only by inches. And if Stevie Y thinks James Reimer will help his outfit. Nay! They are seven wins away from making it.

MONTREAL CANADIENS: Getting this goalie-less, defense-hurting sextet into the playoffs is like trying to squeeze champagne out of a rock. Sorry, but Marty St. Louis isn't Magician Merlin.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS: John Tortorella is my pal, but friendship will only get him to 18th and 19th on Chestnut Street. This is a ship without a sail and an engine minus oil. Sorry, Torts!

WASHINGTON CAPITALS: Alex Ovechkin's shoulders can support a pickle barrel, but his team is in a pickle, and Big 8 won't carry it to the Playoff Republic. Not with an inexperienced coach.

COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS: Jarmo Kekalainen's latest "reset" plan will be about as good as last year's. We saw what Johnny Hockey could do. And will see what Mike Babcock cannot do!

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS: What Sir Sidney badly needs -- same as the last fadeout season -- is goaltending. Pitt will gamble on another Erik Karlsson Norris year. That's too big a gamble.

BOSTON BRUINS: Patrice Bergeron and David Krejci are irreplaceable. Plus, the B's April playoff El Foldo revealed that Linus Ullmark will not be mistaken for the Great Wall of China.

I guess the Islanders make it again after all.