UNIVERSITY OF HOCKEY OPERATIONS Course Catalog: Fall Semester
NHL ARBITRATION 400: Advanced Salary Disputes and Emotional Regulation Prerequisite: Several sleepless nights. Corequisite: A standing relationship with a sports lawyer.
Course Description: An intensive study of the arbitration process, covering comparable player selection, statistical cherry picking, and the delicate art of arguing a player is both a core piece of the franchise and somehow not worth what he's asking for. Students will learn to hold two contradictory positions in their head at once without visibly flinching in front of an arbitrator.
Learning Objectives: By the end of this course, students will be able to:
- Build a case using only the stats that help you
- Sit across from a player you praised in the media six months ago and explain why he's actually a bottom-six comparable
- Maintain a neutral facial expression while his agent reads his own praise back to you
- Calculate exactly how much a one year bridge deal will save you, then explain to fans why that's a good thing
Required Materials:
- One (1) thick binder of comparables, at least half of which will be dismissed as irrelevant by the other side
- A working understanding of "term versus dollars" as a negotiating lever
- Noise cancelling headphones, for use immediately following the hearing when Twitter finds out what you argued in the room
Weekly Topics:
Week 1: Introduction to Comparables. How to find three players who make your case look reasonable and ignore the twelve who don't.
Week 2: The Art of the Lowball Filing. Presenting a number so far under market that even your own scouts wince slightly.
Week 3: Body Language in the Hearing Room. Practicum on how to look composed while a player's representative reads a highlight reel transcript out loud.
Week 4: Mid-term. Students will file a mock arbitration case against a classmate, then have to sit next to them at lunch afterward.
Week 5: Media Management Post-Hearing. Crafting a statement that says nothing while somehow implying the player should be grateful.
Week 6: The Long Game. What happens to team chemistry when a guy you low balled in arbitration is still in the room a year later.
Final Project: Students will draft a complete arbitration brief for a fictional player, then be required to sit across from their professor, who will play the other side and read every one of their own quotes about the player back to them, word for word.
Grading Breakdown:
- Comparable selection: 25%
- Composure under cross examination: 25%
- Final settlement number relative to opening filing: 25%
- Ability to avoid saying anything quotable to reporters afterward: 25%
Instructor Notes: This course fills quickly, largely because every team needs at least one person who can do this job without needing a week off afterward. Past students report the material is straightforward. The emotional toll is the actual curriculum.
Waitlist Policy: Students who drop this course after Week 3 typically cite "just deciding to pay the guy what he wants instead." This is an acceptable, if expensive, alternative to completing the coursework.
This course does not count toward general education requirements but is highly recommended for anyone planning a career in management, or anyone who simply enjoys the specific stress of watching two grown adults argue about whether a player's 45 points last season were "empty" or not.
