Still vibrant Sidney Crosby, Evgeny Malkin, and the ever-popular Kris Letang round out a motivated Pittsburgh Penguins nucleus, including Erik Karlsson. Can the Islanders win without a 1st or 2nd team All-Star forward or defenseman? And plenty more in this week's Fischler Report.

The joke of the funny-footed Penguins is over.

They can fly.

They will fly.

Forget about that Skating Cartel, Erik Karlsson; he's a mere one-fifth of the energetic equation.

Start with the new boss, Kyle Dubas. He learned his lessons in The City Of 1,000 Rumors, Toronto.

Dubas diploma in Hockey Managing 101 and 201 with the Leafs means that he's now a raving genius in the Former Steel City that sits on many rivers. Dubas -- ably abetted by the richest minus defenseman in history -- has a big winner in Pitt. (No analytics necessary, thank you!)

Still vibrant Sidney Crosby, Evgeny Malkin, and the ever-popular Kris Letang round out a motivated nucleus still gifted enough to do wonderful things that will erase the horror of last season's homestretch collapse. (I still can't believe they lost to Chi at home in the final week.)

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What really matters is Reilly -- as in Smith -- on left wing along with other nifty newcomers such as center Lars Eller, left wing Matt Nieto, and blue liner Ryan Graves. (Top-drawer left-wing Jek Guentzel won't return from injured reserve until November.)

As one Pitt insider puts it, "Dubas will have some tough decisions to make. The incredibly busy off-season will continue until Guentzel returns in late Fall."

Of course, a large, blinding spotlight will follow Karlsson around like a London searchlight in World War II. What's more -- and menacing, if you really want to know -- is the big, fat MINUS 26 that was like small print next to the Swede's overly touted Norris Trophy.

Place that fact in the Penguins' handy Alibi Machine, and out comes a valid response:

"Erik also recorded 101 points for a very bad San Jose team. He fits the up-tempo style that the Penguins want to play. Give Dubas credit for removing all of the least-desirable players in the deal."

Here's what matters: this made-over chrome-plated Penguins club features depth at each position that's been lacking since the double Cups of 2016 and 2017. However, with a big IF.

Let me ask you this: Would you put your trust in Tristan; as in Jarry, in goal?

Not I, sir. But Dubas must have been dreaming of a Vasilevskiy Christmas when he forked over a five-year, $26.87 million lifetime annuity to an injury-plagued stopper whose numbers last year were a nightmarish 2.90 and .909.

No problem, That Old Gang of Mine will carry him the way Vegas carried Adin Hill last spring. and all will be well in Crosbyville on the Malkin. Here's why:

If Sid and Gino each could play 82 games (they did) last year, and Letang could play 64 games and have a respectable 41 points after suffering not one but two strokes, you have to love the pure guts in this leadership legion. These Penguins not only have guts but goals and glamour.

Yeah, and The Maven is betting that Cartel Karlsson will be a hefty PLUS player this term. (Masterful Mike Sullivan will see to that.)

I'll let Dubas worry about the goaltending!

WHO NEEDS AN ALL-STAR? CONN SMYTHE DIDN'T -- LOU LAMORIELLO DOESN'T

When Conn Smythe's first NHL dynasty won three straight Stanley Cups (1947, 48, 49), guess what?

Only one Maple Leaf made either the First or Second All-Star team out of 24 tries.

That was goalie Turk Broda, who made First Star in 1947-48.

And when the Torontonians captured their fourth Cup (1951) in five years, only two Leafs -- Dman Jim Thomson and Ted Kennedy tied with Detroit's Sid Abel for the center vote.

"It proved," said Smythe, "that teamwork wins, and not necessarily individual stars."

Fast forward to the current Hockey News Yearbook, where my esteemed Editor-in-Chief Ryan Kennedy picked "The Top 50 Players In The NHL."

Employing my trusty Electron Microscope, I managed to find one Islander among the hall hundred. Ilya Sorokin came in 30th -- How did this happen? -- one behind his bosom buddy, Iggie Shesterkin.

Shades of Smythe's Leafs of 75 years ago; and that's precisely my point: the Isles don't need All-Stars to star. One smart blogger I know likes this current Isles team better than that lovable Barry Trotz overachieving team of 2018-19.

Lou Lamoriello's current sextet has an edge in four places: 1. Better scoring capability; 2. Dept; 3. Youth; 4. Goaltending.

Bo Horvat and Pierre Engvall have enhanced the offense. The club is deep -- especially on the right wing -- and the defense core is 25 years old or younger. Same for offense with Oliver Wahlstrom's return and the signing of Julien Gauthier; not to mention the prospects currently vying for roster spots.

No question that the since-disappearing Robin Lehner and Thomas (Greiss is Nice) Greiss made beautiful music together. but there's even more harmony with the Sorokin-Varlamov string section.

TRAINING CAMP QUOTES THAT REDEFINE OPTIMISM

1. "There's a lot of excitement." Bryan Rust, Pittsburgh.

2. "That was four months ago. It (the coach's harsh post-playoff assessment) is not an issue." Rick Bowness, Winnipeg.

3. "Come and try to show your greatness." Peter Laviolette.

4. "Back to back! We have the team to do it." Bruce Cassidy. (You mean had, Cousin Brucie.)

5. Understatement of all-time Award goes to Jack ("i'm Practicing Amnesia") Campbell; "I have to be better than last year."

DON'T CRY FOR COLUMBUS

When all's said and done, the Blue Jackets fulfill a joke; based on the grounds that there's a joke for every occasion. In this case it's the booting of Mike Babcock and its aftermath. Here's the joke:

A guy sees his friend hitting himself in the head with a big, wooden mallet and inquires:

"Charlie, why are you hitting yourself in the head with the big, wooden mallet?"

To which Charlie replies: "BECAUSE IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN I STOP."

The Blue Jackets are Charlie, and they feel good now that the rational Pascal Vincent is behind the bench, not Babbling Babs.

Now that the Blue J's can think pucks instead of pix, they're gonna surprise a lot of folks, not counting me. For starters, Vinnie is one heckuva good coach who's paid his bench dues without any ego enhancements.

Prospects abound in Nationwide Arena like cannon cartridges, starting with No. 3 Draft pick, center Adam Fantilli, and previous Draft winner defenseman David Jiricek, the pride of Klatovy, Czech. Vets such as Johnny Goudreau, Boone Jenner, and Zach Werenski have shaken the Babcock Blues away, and -- when it comes to the question, Is Elvis In The House? -- yeah, Merzlikins is there.

No more large wooden mallets are necessary, the Blue Jackets' heads are clear. There shall be no 31st finish this year. Think playoffs, lads, think playoffs!

I'M JUST SAYIN'

1. I'm with Julien BrioseBois. What's the rush in re-signing Steve Stamkos, whether the captain wants to mope about a delay or not?

2. Stevereeno is completing an eight-year deal worth $68 million. This guy could buy Hudson Bay and move it to Clearwater if the spirit moved him.

3. We tend to forget that some good guys from yesteryear are still around. One of my favorites from his Islanders days is Cal deHaan, now with the Bolts.

4. Panthers followers are tickled that Patric Hornqvist has signed up as the Cats' scouting and development consultant.

5. Lest we forget, the fiercely competitive Hornqvist was "Buffalo" Bill Zito's first signing as Florida GM. Pitt fans will tell you that he was a big part of the back-to-back Pens Cup teams.

6. Carolina's PNC Arena always has been a fun visit, and it'll be even better when the renovation is complete.

7. In addition to a prettier PNC, the renovated arena will be surrounded by housing, retail, and office buildings. That guarantees that the Canes will be there at least through 2039.

8. By then, my buddy Don Waddell will have a shiny, brown, new pair of loafers -- minus socks.

9. Old Pal David Quinn has the most challenging coaching job of all in San Jose. Mackenzie Blackwood in goal is a scary choice for a starter between the pipes. (But I still love their jerseys.)

10. Had the melodramatic radio show "I Love A Mystery" been revived with a hockey theme, the opener would be titled "What In The Heck Is With Robin Lehner?

11. Kudos to the THN's Yearbook for putting Sebastian Aho on its cover atop the usual witnesses. McDavid or Matthews would have been too easy. Nice choice.

12. Nevertheless, until someone better comes along, King Connor still is the face of the NHL.

13. The Penguins unloaded more dead wood -- seven logs, to be precise -- than any of the 31 other teams.

14. TSN asks the question: "Is Anything Less Than The Cup A Failure For the Oilers?"

Reality Answer: Of course not. With their goalies, getting to the Final will be just fine!

15. If you happen to see Joe Pavelski in Dallas, don't ask the guy how old he is. Joltin' Joe is ageless.

NHL HOCKEY IN AUSTRALIA IS A WONDERFUL THING -- WHAT NEXT? SAN DIEGO

They all laughed when the NHL moved into Los Angeles, Anaheim, and San Jose. Many wonder if California could support so many NHL teams. Well, sir and madam, the next venue that could be humming, "Bettman, Here I Come!" is that sweet burgh, San Diego. I hear that a 16,000-seat arena is in the works.

BRAD MARCHAND REMINDS ME OF A HALL OF FAMER

The only differences between Theodore (Terrible Ted) Lindsay and Brad Marchand are uniforms (Detroit vs. Boston) and the fact that Lindsay (also short stint in Chicago) was a better fighter.

MAPLE LEAF GARDENS WILL LIVE AGAIN

Toronto's entry in the new Professional Women's Hockey League will have famed MLG as its home. (Who cares that it's been renamed Mattany Athletic Centre; Maple Leaf Gardens always will be Maple Leaf Gardens!)