The other day I wanted to pour a gallon of ice, cold water over my pal David Perlmutter's head – AND WAKE HIM UP!

He was annoying me with some cock and bull story about his beloved Rangers HAVING COMPLETED their "Retool" – and the damn thing is that he was dead serious.

The Maven replied with nearly fatal seriousness: "They haven't even started the 'Retool' so how could it be over?"

Undaunted, Roundtable member Perlmutter laid out a series of "Retooled" Rangers lines that included captain J.T. Miller, Mika Zibanejad as well as the usual suspects.

"See me after the Minnesota game," I confidently shot back, "and then we'll talk."

As we all know, the dauntless posse from 7th Avenue and West 33rd Street visited Wild country last night and emerged with a 4-2 decision. What's more, Igor Shesterkin had to make only 46 saves!

Sure enough, too early this morning the phone rang and it was pesty, Perlmutter. I didn't even give him a chance to talk, nor the time of day.

"I SURRENDER," The Maven announced between sips of coffee, "THE RANGERS ARE FOR REAL!"

Forget for a minute that they also are TOO LATE, but we'll get to that in a minute.

What matters is that ever since the trade deadline passed, the Blueshirts have transformed themselves from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Ergo: They are winning in the most noble of fashions; playing hard, smart and – thanks to Shesty – lucky hockey. (And may I add, there's nothing illegal about that!)

To Win Or To Lose: The Rangers' Dilemma There are studious, serious – and downright strong-willed – hockey people out there in

Without prompting, another extremely keen Rangers analyst – Manhattan chum Lloyd MacKay – knocked off his own five-word critical review: "VERY ENJOYABLE TEAM TO WATCH."

Right on – Master MacKay – but puck prince Perlmutter got there first.

(But did Dave have to awaken me before my coffee to tell me? Come to think of it – YES!)

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