I've taken on the role of the tough guy in my league, and who better to take advice from than Tom Wilson, Matt Niskanen and more current and former Capitals?
Former Washington Capitals defenseman Matt Niskanen said it best when he gave a simple yet honest quote about the game of hockey.
"Not everybody's gonna be your best bud out there," he told me matter-of-factly a couple of years back. "It can get a little cutthroat."
When I started playing as an adult, teaching myself the craft at the age of 21 (it's been five years and I'm still working on the fundamentals). But looking at what style I wanted to play, I knew immediately I wanted to take Niskanen's advice and run with it.
As a player and captain, the thing that matters most to me is my teammates. Who's going to give my goalie an extra whack after the whistle? Who's throwing his weight around a little too much out there? Who's chirping besides me?
So I embraced that style, for better or for worse. The scrappy, gritty pest who gets under your skin and stands up for her teammates. Of course, being a woman in hockey, standing at 5-foot-4 (and 3/4) and playing against some guys who tower over six feet, it's a challenge. But a fun one (one my mom hates, but I love).
There's adrenaline, there's leaving it all on the ice and there's a competitive edge.
But again, the most important part is sticking up for yourself and for others and being trusted with having everyone's back. You have to be smart with it as a leader, but sticking up for yourself and protecting your family is the No. 1 priority out there.
"Everybody knows I'll try and have their back and do everything I can to help the team win," Tom Wilson, who has sported the "A" from time to time over the last couple of seasons, said.
As a prominent tough guy in the league, Wilson also emphasized the importance of being versatile and also contributing at key times. There's a bit of a physical aspect there, whether it's lifting sticks or getting players out of your crease.
Of course, there's bound to be discipline. I picked up two minutes for getting someone away from my goalie after a couple of unnecessary whacks after a whistle -- maybe not in the nicest way. Then came last game, where a pull on my arm from behind as I tried to crash the net led to... unpleasantries.
And a roughing call. And a misconduct. Maybe not my smartest move, especially considering my opponent was taller.
So, in one game, I skyrocketed up the stat sheet -- as my division's PIMs leader. Just how I wrote it up.
“You probably walk into situations that you consider to be more favorable than others,” he added. “If I’m standing there with a guy who’s 6-foot-5, I’m not going to expect to do too much to him. But then again, you can underestimate someone pretty easily, too. Some of those smaller guys can really take a punch and can really throw ’em."
(Editor's note: I like to think I'm the "smaller guy" who can throw 'em).
But that's all part of the fun and competitive nature of the game that keeps you up, your heart beating and mind racing in the best way possible.
At the end of the day. you're always looking forward to that next battle. It's part of the beautiful game, one that brings so much intensity, beauty and adrenaline. And hey, getting under people's skin isn't all that bad.
“You remember who’s hard to play against, who’s got a mouth on them, and sometimes it’s just over and done when you say something, you battle, then it’s over," Garnet Hathaway added. "With other times, there’s kind of where you write the guy’s number down and put it in the bank. You look for an opportunity to get them back.”
Most importantly, though, despite the chirps, the grit and physicality, it's all part of the fun and it's all left on the ice. At the end of the day, you're chatting outside the locker room and hanging out in the lot after, like best buds. Sometimes not, but most of the time, it rings true.
“It’s something that just kind of happens within a game and you can laugh it off after. You’re not really going to hurt each other. That’s what I’d say is probably the biggest thing with any fight," Beck Malenstyn said. "There’s probably instances where there’s a little more animosity behind it. Two of you have been going at it for a while, and that’s just going to kind of settle the score."