If last night's Rangers were something The Maven ordered in an expensive restaurant, I'd have told the waiter.
1. TAKE IT BACK.
2. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.
3. I WON'T COME HERE AGAIN.
The appalling 2-1 loss – could have been 10-1 – to Calgary was so incongruous I'm still not sure it's not a nightmare.
Mind you the bumbling Blueshirts were playing against a team that had lost three straight and was starting its second-string goalie.
The Rangers – in the midst of a Wild Card Derby – managed a grand total of 13 shots. In the second period the Home Team registered zippo shots on goal for 11 minutes.
"Taking all the circumstances into consideration," says The Old Scout, "the Rangers' performance was inexplicable; even worse than that."
If you didn't know better, you'd have thought his New York teammates were mad at Igor Shesterkin. The poor – did I say "poor" – guy had to face 35 shots from a team picked to finish sixth in the Pacific.
But we're talking about the "Beloved Blueshirts," whose coach Peter Laviolette acts like an innocent bystander.
"The compete was not there," says Lavvy, repeating what was obvious to about 18,000 witnesses asking themselves why they didn't take this nap at home.
Breadman Panarin, who opened the game with the Rangers lone goal, either doesn't see straight or thinks we're all Dopey Dildocks when he says, "I'm sure everyone tried."
What he should have said was "Everyone should be tried for loafing."
What we – and that means the millions of fans – need to know is simply this: DO THESE RANGERS PLAYERS REALLY CARE?
None of them are going to be docked dollars for their insulting efforts. And even if a loafer like Big Al Lafrenière gets traded, so what? He'll be overpaid for the rest of his career.
"At this point," says The Old Scout, "the only thing that matters is what Jimmy Dolan thinks. He's The Garden boss. The buck stops with him."
You know what? If his collection of underachievers miss the playoffs, Jimmy will be losing a lot more bucks than you think.
And if that happens, he no longer will believe that Chris Drury.