Before today's match in Pittsburgh, what every single Ranger should do is visit a mirror store, buy a six-foot model and bring it to the Funny Name Arena.

Under the guard of coach Peter Laviolette each Ranger should stand before his mirror and repeat 20 times, I AM A HOCKEY PLAYER. I AM A HOCKEY PLAYER.

That's just penance for last night's pitiful 8-2 rout in Buffalo.

As for the beloved goalie who was given the heave-ho after giving up five goals – and the first period wasn't even over – the game that comes to mind is Hide-And-Go-Seek.

By the way, if the beloved Rangers lose to pathetic Pittsburgh this afternoon, the team bus should head to the nearest Flag Shop and order two dozen white banners.

Two out of two weekend losses should spell "Fini" in several languages.

Since this is a team without a captain, somebody had to say something to the post-game press. So it was The Great Mika.

(You only have two seconds – no cheating, please – to guess his elegant explanation.)

"We have to manage games better."

The Maven kind of likes that but isn't "managing games" sort of the coach's job?

Then again Pistol Pete did give his regiment a pep talk the day before and the only ones who seemed to react were the four corners of the dressing room. (The poor coach must have been talking to the walls.)

Okay, okay, Buffalo was yesterday. Pittsburgh is today and the Penguins are to be feared. Heck, they actually scored three goals against wonderful Washington last night at home.

Those nasty Caps must have looked in their mirrors because they punctured the Pitt net eight times.

When you think about the logic – and teams involved – we may be seeing an 8-8 game today – with the Blueshirts winning it on the 19th Shootout!