If you didn't know better you'd think the Rangers farewell-to-the-campaign comments were from a Comedy Central script.
Or, a soap opera called "My Lost Season."
Some of the player explanations were so mysterious it made you wish you owned a Batman decoder to figure out what these losers really meant.
Otherwise, it could be billed "Cliche Jubilee." Or, if you will, "Loser Busters."
Mika Zibanejad – alias Mr. Confusion – had this to say: "Us players, we have to take ownership of what we do and how we go about things."
Really, Mika: How about explaining why your $8 million salary doesn't have a Backchecking clause? With your kind of dough, you should apologize for your ugly MINUS-22 for the season. (How come nobody asked him about MINUS-22. (Or, was that Catch-22?)
Because Adam Fox went to Harvard, The Maven always deludes himself into thinking some juicy insights will emerge from Mr. Jericho. Instead its drivel a la mode.
"This year," moaned The Fox, "everyone has to really look in the mirror,"
Foxy, old boy, don't you know that the "look in the mirror" line belongs to Snow White's mom, from the movie, Pal. Or did you pick up that mirror line in a Harvard course: Cliches 101? Next time check with your goalie, he had a better alibi.
"Something broke during the season," Igor Shesterkin explained. "We went the other way and we couldn't handle it."
Never mind the "We," buddy, YOU couldn't handle it. Here's a guy with an eight year deal for $92 million and hasn't figured out that HE broke, not the mysterious "something."
Can you believe that the best Iggy could come up with was a 27-29-5 record and 2.89 GAA worth .905 save percentage. (Some savior!)
Chris Kreider was telling everyone that he was playing hurt and he loves New York as much – I guess – as Taylor Swift loves to dance. If Kreider is a Ranger next season, it will be by default; no other team would want him.
Meanwhile GM Drury would love to dump Kreider faster than you can count Chris' assist total for the season – eight. (Sorry, that's not a joke).
Enough already. Camp Alibi has closed for the season with this delicious closer from Magical Mika: "It's not about blaming people."
Give that man an Adam Fox-autographed mirror and get him outta here!