The Maple Leafs, who will establish a beachhead at The Garden tonight, believe they will win The Stanley Cup this spring.
No, I am not joking.
This is a free country, isn't it? So, you can think anything you want.
But these brash Torontonians, whose subways only run "Local," really believe this Cup nonsense.
Which only shows how much sense they have since the last time the Leafs won a Cup was 1967 when the NHL was nicknamed "The Original Six."
Meanwhile, as a public service, I found a Torontonian who bills himself as "The Biggest Leafs Fan." His other name is Mark Nussbaum and he demands the right to talk Leafs Cup.
"Tonight the Rangers can expect a hungry Leafs team," says Nussbaum. "They are trying to win their first Atlantic Division and set themselves up for a more favorable playoff match up."
So far, The Maven is hearing the same-old-same-old Toronto applesauce, but I'll let The Man continue his fantasy.
Nussbaum: "The Leafs goalies have been the story this year – just absolutely unbelievable with game-saving saves night in and night out. When our best players aren't playing their best, our goalies can totally steal a game."
The Maven gave Mark a Breathalizer test. He came out sober, so I let him rant a bit more.
"This is a different team from the ones who couldn't win Stanley. It's a little more playoff-built. It's a veteran, savvy team. Nylander will have a big night, Marner will stay hot and Reilly will continue his strong play."
Then, a pause: "I expect a big night out of our top six. Prediction, Leafs, 5-2!"
Now The Maven will explain why Toronto will never have a Cup-winner: (Are you ready for pure hockey, non-analytics logic -- here goes:)
John Tavares, who will soon sign another Toronto contract, will never win a Stanley Cup, whether he wears pajamas with "Leafs" patched on them or not!
(P.S. Sorry, Mark, try a real Canadian team; Winnipeg Jets!)