Kyle Ross-Imagn ImagesBarring some hockey miracle – like Whitehorse in the Yukon joining the NHL – Artemi Panarin can unofficially be called "an ex-Ranger."
Formalities are unnecessary. The three Blueshirt "Wonderboys" – Dolan-Drury-Sullivan – set an NHL record, so to speak, declaring "We Surrender The Season and it's still mid-winter.
That means Breadman First Class Panarin is free to become a Skating Hessian for the third time in his life and maybe even become wealthier than Piggy Iggy Shesterkin, the Blue Cross King.
As we speak, Artful Artemi is scanning the field while the field scans the Rangers' leading goal-scorer.
Already, Emperor of gossip "Hearing," Elliotte Friedman, has about a dozen potential teams "interested" in Mister Pumpernickel, the almost ex-Ranger.
But Coy Boy Friedman is guaranteeing nothing, so The Maven will help him out. My prediction is predicated on a few facts and no hidden "source."
Artemi will wind up with the two-team Stanley Cup champion Florida Panthers.
My source is the infallible superscout Jess (Ever Logical) Rubenstein. (Wait a moment while I turn the mike over to Jess:)
"If there's one general manager who can convince Panarin to come to play on his team for less money it is Florida's Bill Zito," Jess explains. "All Bill needs to do is say is 'I need some cash to re-sign Bob next year!"
There you have it; tape this on your fridge, it's as good as done!"